Category Archives: Relationships

Getting Your Ex Back, Relationships

Getting a Handle on Your Relationship Before it is Broken

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Getting a handle on your relationship before it is broken

It isn’t easy trying to get a handle on a relationship that is on the verge of failure. You, most likely, don’t really know what to do, but you are open to any advice for broken relationships that will help you to work things out. Keep in mind that every person and every couple is different, so not all advice will work equally well; however, if it means you can be happy again, then all advice is at least worth trying.

As mentioned, not all advice works for everybody, but it is important that you always consider where the advice is coming from. In other words, you need to ask yourself what makes the person qualified to give you any advice for broken relationships. For example, if they have healed a broken relationship and are now happily back together with that same person, then they have some idea of what they are talking about. On the other hand, if the person has had one failed relationship after another and isn’t even in one right now, then they probably aren’t the most qualified person to help you.

Where can you get advice? Talk to family members who have been in a similar situation. They have the benefit of personally knowing something about you and your relationship, and can make their advice better fit your situation. Friends can be another source of advice for broken relationships, but you also need to be careful that they don’t have ulterior motives. For example, if your best friend feels that your ex stole you away from them, then they may (even at a subconscious level) give you advice that doesn’t work. A professional counselor can also give you advice on how best to work things out. The advantage here is that they can view your relationship as an objective observer, and they won’t take sides when giving you advice. Again, all of this assumes that any of these people are qualified to give you relationship advice in the first place.

There are also a few things you can do yourself to take the sting out of a broken relationship:

1. Go ahead and grieve. Death isn’t the only situation that is associated with the grieving process, break ups also require grieving. Give yourself permission to go through that process and reassure yourself that things will be better on the other side of it.

2. Socialize. You may not feel like it, but you should get out and have a social life. That doesn’t mean you have to go out and start dating, not at all, but it does mean that you should go out with friends and do your best to have some fun.

3. Give it time. Whether you plan on moving on with your life or wish to get back together with your ex, you need to give things some time. You need that time to get your emotions in check and to come to terms with what has happened.

4. Things will get better. This bit of advice for broken relationships seems so unbelievable, but it is true. The fact that you are reading this is proof that you believe that things can get better, and that’s a good thing.

 

Dating, Relationships

A Christian Man’s Guide to Dating

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A Christian Man’s Guide to Dating

The word dating is powerful among men – a great equalizer, whether you’re a Christian or not. It can bring to mind moments of utmost joy and moments of searing rejection. Asking a woman out and getting a rejection hurts. On the other hand, getting an acceptance can make you feel like you’re on top of a mountain.

From the mountaintop to the valley, dating without the proper guidance is like trying to climb Mt. Everest wearing only a pair of swimming trunks – foolhardy and most likely to leave you frozen in your tracks.

There are other similarities among all groups of men when it comes to dating. Men in Christian and non Christian circles are attracted to beautiful women. There’s nothing wrong with that. Whether a man of faith or not, men want to date women who are attractive, intelligent, interesting and interested in them.

There are also differences among men when it comes to dating. It’s faith that ends the similarities between the groups of men. Christian men are instructed to date women of faith.

That instruction is from the Bible and is found in II Corinthians. Why is that instruction so important for men of faith? Because as a Christian, faith is to be the foundation upon which you build your future relationships with the opposite sex. When the foundations don’t match up, you can’t build the kind of relationship God intends for you to have with one another.

There are some Christians who believe that Christians shouldn’t date at all, but those beliefs are usually based on seeing how the world views dating. They believe that dating is simply an invitation to intimacy. Dating as a Christian man doesn’t mean you have to or will date the way society deems acceptable.

As a Christian man, there is a right way and a wrong way to date. This guide will help you understand the ins and outs of dating and act as a map for navigating around the potholes you may encounter along the way.

Start With Prayer

You want to honor God with the choices you make in your life, especially the romantic choices. There can be long lasting consequences relating to dating outside of God’s desire for your life.

When you think of a woman you’d like to ask out, first go before the Lord and talk to Him about it. Not only will prayer ensure a better outcome in the long run, but praying before you ask can keep you from trouble.

Prayer acts as a compass to help with self-control, strengthens your resolve for purity and keeps you on the path you desire to be on. Your heart can lead you down a path you don’t want to end up on. Just because you’re attracted to a woman and want to get to know her better doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for you.

Before you ask out any woman, spend some time praying over whether you should ask her or not. She might be the one you should ask out and then again, she might be the road to heartache.

Not only should you seek prayer about asking out the right woman, but as a Christian single, pray that God will protect you from the challenges of temptation as well. God gave you the desire for the opposite sex, but His timing should be followed in the area of romance.

Even after praying, if you decide that you should ask her out, you might fear rejection but if you believe you should ask her out, then go ahead and take that risk. She might say no, but then again, she might say yes. If you believe you should ask her out but then you don’t, you may always wonder about the chance you let slip by because of your fear of rejection.

The Art of Asking

Men of all ages and from all backgrounds have said that the hardest part about dating is getting over the first hurdle: asking. They get tongue tied and become shy. No one likes to put himself out there and risk rejection-it’s not fun, but there are ways you can lower your risk of rejection by how you ask for a date.

There aren’t any tried and true ways to ask a woman out-no one way will guarantee you a date. However, there are better ways to ask than “Hey, want to get some coffee with me Saturday?”

Your odds of getting a no have risen. Why? Because you asked a question where you can get a yes or no answer. Instead, you want to ask in a way that gives you a definite yes or a thoughtful maybe. Be careful that you don’t ask in a way that comes across as insulting.

Wrong: “I’m not doing anything Saturday and I wondered if you’d like to go out.” This assumes she’s not doing anything either and this could come across as offensive. You asked because you’re not doing anything? Meaning if you had something better to do you wouldn’t ask her? That may not be what you mean, but that’s how it comes across.

Better: “I know you like Italian food and there’s a new Italian restaurant in town. I’d like to share the experience with you.” How do you know she liked Italian food? You took the time before you asked her out on a date to talk to her friends or family about the kinds of foods she likes.

Women appreciate a man that will go the extra mile to discover her likes and dislikes. It shows that he’s the kind of man who will put effort into getting to know her. Finding out what she enjoys first will also increase your odds of getting a yes response because if you ask her to go out to seafood restaurant and she hates seafood, she might just say no and not explain that she doesn’t like seafood.

The Perfect Woman

What’s your idea of a perfect woman? Is she tall, short? Slender, curvy? Blonde, brunette? Financially stable? Own a home? Come from a Christian background? If you have any preconceived notions of what a perfect woman should be, forget them.

If you have a mental list of qualities a woman should have, forget those too. Why? You could be closing the door on the right woman to date if you go into dating with your ideals of what the woman should or shouldn’t be rather than God’s ideal.

There were two Christian men. One man had a list of what he wanted in any woman he dated. She had to be tall. Had to be a brunette. Had to come from a Christian family. He kept searching until he was in his thirties and he found the perfect woman.

They dated and married a few years later. He’d finally found the perfection he’d searched for. Ten years later, they divorced. His wife discovered he wasn’t perfect.

The second man sought God’s wisdom before he dated. The woman he was led to was short, a bit overweight. She didn’t come from a Christian family but she loved the Lord with all her heart.

They dated for years, then married. Twenty-one years later, they’re still together, still serving God. So forget looking for perfection and instead seek God’s will about the woman you should ask out.

About serial dating: Don’t date more than one woman at a time. Hard to believe this advice pertains to Christian men, but it does. You cannot date more than one woman at the same time and get to know both of their characters equally. It’s not fair to either party involved in the date. You can’ commit yourself to two women at once. Plus, serial dating makes you come across as a player.

Pay attention to how the woman conducts herself before you ask her out. Don’t assume that because she’s busy and active in the church or church related activities it means she has a steady relationship with God. You don’t want to date a woman that’s so busy doing she has no time for simply being. It’s easy to fill a life with everything but time for God. There has to be a healthy balance.

Planning the Date

If you take your date through the drive thru at a fast food restaurant and splurge on a box of chicken nuggets, don’t expect a second date. There’s a huge difference in not having a large budget for dating and being cheap.

What cheap says to a woman is not, “He’s good with money.” What it says is, “He doesn’t think I’m worth spending money on.” You can plan dates that show you’ve put thought into it without having to break your budget to do so.

If you know what your date enjoys, the work is half over already. You can plan a date around what she likes. There are low, medium and higher cost dates you can plan. Keep in mind, there’s nothing wrong with not being able to afford to spend a lot on a date, that’s where your creativity can come into play.

Free or low cost dates: going on a picnic, taking food and grilling out at a lake or by a pond-not only low cost but toward the evening as the sun is setting, this can be a beautiful and romantic backdrop.

Check out historical places where you live. Take a walking tour. Do you live near a beach? Walk along the beach. Spread a blanket on the sand and share a treat-iced tea in the summer, coffee or hot chocolate in a thermos in the winter. It’s a relaxing way to spend time together and talk.

Is she the outdoor type? Play tennis or badminton, go for a horseback ride-if you have a friend who owns riding horses, this can be a great low cost date as long as she’s not afraid of horses. Go skating. Check your local newspaper for any community events. One city offers Music Beneath the Stars and hosts free jazz concerts.

Medium cost dates: dinner and a movie, a short boating trip, a horse and buggy ride, bowling or golfing.

Higher cost dates: go to a concert, eat at a five star restaurant, visit a museum, if she likes sports, go watch a baseball or basketball team play, go white water rafting or skiing. The ideas for dates are endless and while a dinner date is always pleasant, women do like for a man to step outside the routine and plan a date that’s different from the norm.

For your best odds of a successful first date, make it a memorable one. Have an activity planned so that the entire time isn’t spent in conversation. The way to choose a good first date activity is to have at least some idea of what your date will like.

If she doesn’t have someone you can ask what she might like to do, then just ask her. Be up front about it and say, “I’d like to make sure you have a good time. Do you enjoy ___” fill in the blank with the activity you had in mind.

If you plan on taking her to a restaurant where you’ve never been, make sure you know beforehand if the restaurant has anything in it that you or date might find offensive. You would hate to take your date to a nice restaurant only to discover a singer serenaded customers by singing in a suggestive manner.

Conversation and Dating

Conversation is a great tool to get to know someone but what about those awkward moments of silence when you just can’t think of anything to say? That can kill a good date fast. If you experience moments of silence that seem to linger, use humor to deflect it. Be honest about the uncomfortable silence. Many people experience this first date issue.

Ask her about herself-her childhood-where she grew up, her family, what hobbies she engaged in. Don’t make it like an interrogation with the spotlight on her (Who are you? What have you done all your life?). Be relaxed. Offer parts about your own childhood as well. Recount a humorous event.

You can ask her about her favorite childhood memory. If she didn’t come from a good home, ask her what she loves about her life today. First date conversation is a good way to find out what your date likes so that you can gain insight if you decide you’d like to ask her out again. If you discover she loves gardening on the first date, maybe on the second date, you can bring her an outdoor plant or shrub for her garden.

You can ask her what her favorite Bible verse is. Most Christian women have a life’s verse that holds special meaning. When you ask her about her favorite Bible verse, you can follow that up with asking her why it’s her favorite.

Talk about one another’s relationship with the Lord. How long you’ve been a Christian, how you first came to Christ. What is she passionate about when it comes to serving the Lord? What is she passionate about in her life? What are her dreams? Her goals?

Finding out about her relationship with God can clue you in right off the bat if it would be a good idea to keep dating her. If you ask her about God and she says, “Who?” then you know she’s not the woman you should date.

I know that’s kind of tongue in cheek, but you’d be surprised at the number of good women who are active in the church and yet because of their many activities have no relationship whatsoever with God.

Make sure you listen when she speaks. Don’t cut her off if she says something you don’t agree with. By paying careful attention, you can often pick up cues that can keep the conversation going.

What not to talk about or mistakes to avoid during conversation: Don’t talk about your past girlfriends, your past dating experiences or how wonderful your mother is. Even if she’s the greater woman in the world, you want to keep the focus of the date on the person you’re with.

Keeping up Appearances

You’ve heard the phrase ‘be on your best behavior’ and ‘put your best foot forward’ especially on a first date. You should make an extra effort on a first date but always be yourself. Never act like someone or something you’re not.

There’s an older British show titled ‘Keeping Up Appearances.’ In this show, the main star is Hyacinth Bucket. She pronounces her last name as ‘Bouquet’ and loudly corrects anyone who pronounces it as Bucket. She’s embarrassed by her family and is forever pretending to be something she’s not. The results are sometimes quite embarrassing and painful for her.

The worst thing you can do is present yourself as a man who enjoys one way of living when you don’t. Presenting yourself as a pillar of perfection gets hard to maintain day in and day out. If you keep dating the same person, you’ll eventually get tired of the façade and when who you really are comes out, the woman you’re dating will end up feeling disillusioned.

You want to start out dating like you plan to end up. If you’d like to have a dating relationship focused on a mutual relationship with the Lord, then start it out the right way.

Read and study the Bible together. Begin and end your dates with prayer. Dating someone is more than simply looking for a woman you may have things in common with. It’s more than seeking a companion. You want a woman that has a steady walk with God herself.

You can be interested in what she has to say and interested in what she does without pretending you’re a fan of the activity. You wouldn’t expect her to pretend she’s interested in football if she’s not.

Too many men believe that it’s the common hobbies that cement relationships, but it’s not. You can have common interests but not all of them have to be the same. Or even should be.

Think about it. God created each one of us unique. The differences can actually add to a dating relationship so apart from an interest in things of God, don’t write a woman off if you don’t have other interests in common.

The Physical Side of Dating

As a Christian man, you are called to a higher standard of living than your non Christian peers. You want to be sure that your dating relationship is honorable. Is it wrong to hold hands?

To kiss your date goodnight? That depends. Are you in a position where you can’t take intimacy any further than that? Without roadblocks, even the most moral of men can fail to keep his convictions.

If you don’t avoid ways to cross certain boundaries, then you take a risk. Without safety perimeters even the most experienced of rock climbers can fall. It doesn’t matter what your spiritual maturity level is, temptation is pretty powerful and can hit you when your guard is down.

If you’re not in a place where you can cross a line, then even if temptation does hit, you won’t be anywhere you can do anything about it. It would be awfully hard to cross boundaries in front of hundreds of other say ice skaters or sports fans than it would be if you were sitting alone in your place or hers.

Does the Bible forbid kissing and hand holding? No, it doesn’t. But what happens in many Christian dating relationships is that the physical starts out as a simple kiss or a holding of hands. It then progresses from there. It’s the progress from one step to the next that you have to be careful about. You can end up in a situation you never intended to get into.

Telling yourself she’s the one and you know you’re in a committed relationship doesn’t matter when it comes to intimacy. You can’t see the future. You don’t know with one hundred percent clarity that you’ll end up with this woman. If you do, great.

But what if you don’t? You might see her again down the road as someone else’s girlfriend or wife. How would you feel then knowing you’d been intimate with her? Any kind of intimacy creates a link between two people. The further you go, the stronger the link.

If you do engage in intimacy while dating and end up marrying the woman, you’ve still set a pattern that bases the relationship on the physical attraction rather than basing it on the spiritual side. You want to start out right so that it ends right.

How to Follow Up a Good Date

You made it through the first date and discovered you enjoyed her company and you’d like to see her again. At the end of the date, when you see her home, tell her you had a nice time and would be interested in seeing her again. This leaves the ball in her court. If she agrees, then you know she’s still interested as well. If you tell her that you’ll call her the next day, then call her.

The next day, if you’ve received confirmation you’ll be seeing her again, send her a note through the mail – a simple card reiterating what you enjoyed about the date, about your conversation with her. Dating for Christian men doesn’t have to be an emotional minefield if you go into it keeping the advice of this guide in mind.

 

Relationships

Relationship New Year Resolutions

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New Year Resolutions For Your Relationship

New Year’s resolutions seem to be a national pass time with everyone jumping on the bandwagon to lay out a list of things they want to accomplish in the upcoming year. The list’s can be long and varied as everyone has their own special things they want to do, with a lot of common ones as well. And even though odds are you will fall back on your resolutions within the first few months, you are at least acknowledging you want to change those aspects and trying towards them which is always the first step.

But there are some new years resolutions that people seem to forget about. Simple resolutions that they could actually fulfill and that would make their love lives much happier. New Year Resolutions for Your Relationship are just as important as any other resolution you could make, so why not include some of the following to help you strengthen your relationship in the following year?

1. Communicate with your eyes. Eye contact is important in any relationship, but take a step back and ask yourself just how often you will look your partner in the eyes, especially when having a romantic moment. The eyes are one of the most expressive parts of our faces and they alone can tell whole stories. Looking your partner in the eyes when you are being intimate can be a powerful thing for any relationship as it can convey your love for one another more then words ever could.

2. Be intimate more often. Another New Year Resolutions for Your Relationship is to try to be intimate more. As the years wear on people tend to drift apart and end up being intimate far less frequently. It is important to keep your intimacy constant so you do not leave each other wanting. It should not be some business like affair, but try to set the mood when you can.

3. Change things up. A major problem that plagues relationships is that they just get dull. You fall into a routine for everything and it gets boring. Be creative and try new things to keep your relationship exciting and fresh. It does not have to be anything massive and extravagant, just try something new every now and then.

4. Go on dates. Continuing the theme, relationships can get dull and lose that spark you once felt. A good way to recapture this feeling is to go on dates. There is no rule saying that once you are married or have been together for a long time that you can not go on dates anymore. So why not go out for a night on the town like you once did?

5. Laugh more often. The best New Year Resolutions for Your Relationship is to simply laugh. Laughter is a great thing as it can uplift your spirits and just generally make you feel good. So try to find ways to brighten up your relationship so that you and your partner can laugh more often. You do not have to run around acting like clowns, but just finding fun things to do can help immensely.

Dating, Getting Your Ex Back, Relationships

Approaching Women With Confidence

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Confidence

The idea that woman only like jerks is a myth, but it does have a grain of truth to it. Jerks may be forceful and arrogant, but one thing they aren’t, is timid. A woman may be more likely to be attracted to a jerk than an insecure guy, but the man she’ll choose over them both is a confident man.

It doesn’t help that the time when you feel the least confident is usually when you’re trying to approach a woman. The good news is that you can still act confident, and the better news is that acting confident helps you gain confidence.

If you find yourself touching your face or covering your mouth when you speak, you are definitely showing nervousness. Slouching and bad posture also show a lack of confidence.

Other signs for nervousness include avoiding eye contact and fidgeting. If you smoke, it’s a good idea to stop. Smoking behavior leaves some of the most obvious clues to nervousness – and also, non-smoking women will have a very hard time getting attracted to you.

Confident men, on the other hand, stand up straight with their shoulders squared, are comfortable with keeping steady eye contact, and tend to lean back and put their feet up when they sit down.

They keep their hands away from their mouths, and when they speak they gesture from themselves to the other person. But even confident men make mistakes. You need to avoid coming across as arrogant or unconsciously treating a woman as if she’s a man.

Steepling your fingers is a common gesture of confidence – but it means that you’ve either proved a point or you’re about to. It isn’t very appropriate when you’re asking a woman out.

Leaning back and putting your feet up may project confidence, but if you go the extra step and rest your ankle on your knee and put your hands behind your head, you start to look aggressive.

Standing with your hands behind your back and your chin thrust out is a classic arrogant posture. It’s a position to take when you’re the boss of whomever you’re speaking to, and it’s also not appropriate on a date.

Here’s an example of how to approach a woman with confidence:

Walk toward her with your back straight and shoulders back.

Meet her eyes, smile, and offer to shake her hand as you introduce yourself.

If she is seated, sit down as well so that you are at her level. Sit quietly, maintain eye contact, and when you speak, gesture from yourself to her.

With practice, not only will you be able to act more confident as you approach women, but you will actually be more confident.

Dating, Getting Your Ex Back, Relationships, Sex

How to Please a Woman in the Bedroom

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How to Please a Woman in the Bedroom

Many men take time to research ways they can meet women. They study pickup routines and hot dating spots. But meeting a woman and pleasing her in the bedroom are two separate issues, and you don’t want to sabotage your pick up efforts with a bad sexual encounter.

Never Underestimate the Seductiveness of a Kiss

Whether this is a woman you just met or someone you’ve been dating for awhile, you have to perfect the art of a kiss – and use it frequently. There’s nothing that turns a woman off more than a guy who simply rips off her clothes and tries to have sex with her without any foreplay.

Closed-mouth kisses aren’t the kind of arousing make-out session she’s wanting, though. Women want the kisses you provide to linger on for what seems like forever – even while your hands are working elsewhere.

She wants you to French kiss her – sometimes softly and sometimes aggressively. But you have to know how to work your tongue – and make sure you’re not simply thrusting it inside of her mouth, choking her.

If you notice she’s pulling away, then you might need to work on your kisses. It might be your style or it could be an issue like halitosis. Women will notice hygiene in a man – including his brushing habits.

Kisses aren’t just for her mouth, either. You need to learn how to kiss all of her erogenous zones, including:

* Her neck
* Her breasts
* Her stomach
* Her thighs

Many women get turned on by the all-over body kisses. It can be a major turn off if a man hops into bed and instantly takes her panties down for sex. She won’t likely climax this way – and you won’t be getting a second chance to prove you know what you’re doing.

Learn how to nibble as you kiss. Nibble her earlobes, her breasts (softly), and even gently bite her bottom lip – no pain, just softness. Your hands should be either framing her face or exploring her body.

Don’t resort to a teenage boy’s methods of grabbing and yanking on body parts. Grown women want to feel your strength as a man, but know that you understand that breasts can be sensitive. A titillating stroke goes farther than a pinch and a pull.

Use the Right Kind of Sex Talk

Women love to hear you whisper sexual and romantic things in their ear during lovemaking. What they don’t like is for you to try to make your session a porn movie in the first 2 seconds you land in bed.

Especially if she doesn’t know you very well, you watch for signs of what he boundaries are on that. Some men make the mistake of not watching what they say, so they simply get repetitive – saying, “you’re so sexy” over and over again.

Sure, a woman likes to hear that she’s sexy – but don’t keep mumbling it. And don’t blurt out, “I love you” if this is a woman you just met tonight. She won’t be impressed – she’ll think you’re creepy.

Some guys start using phrases like, “Who’s your daddy, little girl?” which can also make her feel unnerved. You have to get to know a woman’s style of sex talk before you engage her in it.

Learn the difference between soft core talk and hard core talk. Start with soft and if she responds, you might move it up to the next level and see how she reacts then.

Things to start out with include:

* Telling her how beautiful a particular body part is (her breasts, her stomach)
* Telling her she makes you extremely aroused
* Telling her how good she is at whatever foreplay she’s engaging in with you

Level up by getting more explicit in what you want her to do and what words you use. Understand that while you might have heard words like, “cunt,” “whore,” or “bitch” in porn videos, many women won’t like that because they’ll feel it’s disrespectful. Then again, some women might respond favorably to that.

It’s important that you know what her language is. Pick up on clues and see how she responds to what you say and what words and phrases she uses, too. You can mirror her sex talk so that you’re saying exactly what she wants to hear.

Keep in mind that some women aren’t into talking much at all. They’re more into quick, heavy breathing, moaning and other noises. Don’t try to force your woman to talk dirty to you in bed if she’s not comfortable. Over time, she might loosen up and attempt to meet your needs in that department.

Learn How to Please Her Orally

Oral sex is very important to a woman. It’s the stimulation she needs to orgasm with you during sexual intercourse. Some women don’t need it, but there are very few who would complain about getting it.

Some men are very selfish in this department. They expect a woman to go down on them and give them head, but won’t return the favor. That’s not the way to gain a reputation as being good in bed.

If you’re more than willing to go down on a woman, but don’t know if you’re doing it right or wrong, there are some tips that can help you get the job done to the best of your abilities.

First, don’t be the energizer bunny. Some guys go about it like they’re in a race. You should help her build up momentum. If you’re using your tongue on the exact same spot, extremely fast from the very first second, it’s not going to help her get aroused.

Women like it when you start out slow and build up into a frenzy with them. Explore her vagina with your tongue – and stop to kiss her mons pubis – that area of skin covering the pubic bone – or kiss her thighs. You want to make her ache for you to return your tongue to her clitoris.

Some men make the mistake of getting too rough down there. While soft, gentle nibbling is one thing, biting and pulling is another. Don’t get too rough (unless she’s into that sort of thing).

Always please your woman before you ask or imply that she should please you. No woman wants her man to cum before she does, because in many instances, that means the night of sex is over and she’s left unsatisfied.

If you can bring her to orgasm through oral and manual stimulation before you have sex, then it should be easier for her to orgasm while you’re having intercourse.

You might also want to use sex toys in the bedroom if this is someone you feel comfortable doing that with. Vibrators used to stimulate the clitoris can be used intermittently with oral stimulation to bring her to a higher climax.

Using sex toys doesn’t mean you’re any less of a man in the sack – in fact, it means you know how to please your woman by giving her exactly what she wants.

Don’t Be Afraid to Get Aggressive

Some men worry about being overbearing in the bedroom. They actually become too tame in bed, and women today might not like the tame types. They like a take-charge kind of man – but that doesn’t mean you have to get scary.

Some women like it when a man grabs her by the wrists, turns her around and presses her down over the couch, pushes her legs apart and has sex with her from behind. Not every encounter needs to be a soft, romantic lovemaking session.

If this is a woman who you’ve been dating for awhile, you can switch things up and use a slight show of force. That never means harming a woman or doing something against her will. If she responds negatively, back off!

But don’t be scared to use rose petals and romantic music and candlelight one day and catch her off guard for a quickie in the laundry room the next. This is what keeps things hot in your relationship!

And if you’re strong physically, use that mass to get her turned on. Pick her up and have sex with her against the wall while holding her up. That kind of strength is very sexy to a woman.

Fulfill Her Sexual Fantasies

Contrary to popular belief, men aren’t the only ones who have sexual fantasies. Women (even those who don’t read romance novels) have them, too. And if she’s willing to put on a Snow White lingerie outfit for you, you’d better be willing to dress up like Thor for her, too.

For women, sometimes there’s role playing involved, and sometimes not. Don’t pressure her to tell you her sexual fantasy, but you can bring up the conversation and share yours with her and ask if she has any that you could fulfill.

Maybe she’d love to dominate you for a night. She may or may not be at the level where she wants to engage in dominatrix behavior, but she might want to be in control without you having much of a say for a night.

Maybe she’s into one of the usual men’s fantasies – wearing a schoolgirl outfit and getting spanked by you. Find out, then buy her the outfit and have it waiting for her one night.

Some women take it to a whole new level of fantasies, bringing in another man or woman as a third participant or becoming a voyeur of the sex between her and her partner. It’s never a good idea to assume this is something she’d want – ask first, because most women would say no, but some wouldn’t!

Stimulate Her Clitoris While Penetrating Her

Part of the reason women roll their eyes when men harp about how big their dicks are is because size doesn’t matter. It’s all in how you use your penis that determines whether or not she’s going to get any pleasure out of it.

Of course size does help if you’re trying to achieve the exclusive G-spot orgasm. That requires deeper penetration, and doggie style is a good position to help with that. But many women have never experienced that, so most men need to concentrate on clitoral stimulation before anything else.

A woman’s clitoris isn’t right at the spot where her vaginal opening is, so your penis isn’t rubbing up against it unless you work hard to get in a position where it’s being stimulated directly.

Some men just assume that if they have a big penis, she’ll be satisfied. It has nothing to do with that. You want to make sure her clitoris is being directly stimulated during intercourse – either through the touch of your penis or your fingers.

If you’re approaching her from behind or doggie-style, for example, then you’ll need to reach around to her front and rub her clitoris with your fingers while you penetrate her.

If you’re doing it missionary style, it will help if her legs are positioned in an almost closed manner with your weight shifted upwards so that your penis makes contact with her clitoris as you enter her and bring it out.

When a woman has sex with you where she’s on top and in charge of her movements, it is easier for her to rub her clitoris against your skin and ensure she’s building to a climax.

Pleasing a woman in bed consists of three things. First, make sure you pick up on clues from her – looks, pulling away, or seeming to get into something vigorously.

Second, you want to be willing to ask and get feedback about what she likes. Women today aren’t shy about telling you, and if you don’t take it personally, you’ll enjoy getting better with her tips.

And third, keep the focus on her until she puts the focus on you and you’ll become a better lover in an instant. Women are more sexually liberated now – they’re familiar with sex toys, positions, fantasies and role playing. They’re not afraid to be wild in the bedroom, so open her up to a world of possibilities and she’ll thank you for it!